


What's Mine

by Woon



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Awkward Flirting, Baby Things, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Things, F/M, Family Fluff, First Date, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internal Screams, Mention of a murder, Past Relationship(s), Reluctant Cuddling, Swearing, Victor Being Victor, Zsasz and his tallies, Zsasz deliberately being obtuse, annoying phone call, fucking angst, making date plans, mention of abortion, not quite dubcon, possible coercion, unwanted company, will add as I need to as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woon/pseuds/Woon
Summary: Myra is a single mother having to deal with the intrusion of her ex-lover, Victor Zsasz back into her life. Will she banish him for her sanity or let him help raise their child?





	1. The Ex

**Author's Note:**

> A story I posted elsewhere ages ago and I am now figuring out what direction I am going to take it. It has a mature rating for the mature themes that will be prevalent in the story.

       “Well Ms.Childers, if you can think of anything at all that may be helpful to our investigation, call this number here,” he wrote another number down on his card. “Call this number if you’d like to go out for drinks.” I blushed slightly as he handed me his card.

       I’m pretty sure trying to pick up a chick at a crime scene is not very professional, especially when the crime scene is directly across from that chick’s apartment. But Detective Bullock struck me as the kind of guy who would and he proved me right. He wasn’t bad looking, I mused as I closed the door. I liked the beard, drifting off into my thoughts, I imagined that it would be ticklish rubbing against my skin in various places.

      And then my musings evaporated when I heard a voice breaking into my thoughts. “So they’re gone then?”

       I spun around to look at the reason there is a dead man across the hall from me. He sauntered over to me with a smile but stop short when he saw the look on my face. I closed the distance and slapped him.

       “Jesus, Victor!” He frowned briefly, I knew slapping him could be a risky thing, not knowing how’d he would react. But I also knew he wouldn’t hurt me too much if he decided to retaliate. That reason was currently asleep in her crib. “You said you were in the neighborhood, you didn’t say you were killing my neighbors.” 

       He rubbed a gloved hand over his jaw where my slap had landed. “Just the one.” that smirk, the temptation to slap him again was great but I knew better than to act on it.

* * *

 

        Victor stood there looking into the crib, “You know if you came over at a decent time of day, you could actually spend more time with her. Maybe actually hold her, Victor.” I said quietly not wanting to raise my voice too loud because it took forever to get her to sleep.

      “I’m not ready for that.” Victor looked up at me. 

    “It has been a fucking year already, at least try one time.”  That blank stare he often uses when he doesn’t want anyone to read his thoughts, I hate that stare.

      I watched him take one of his gloves off slowly as he turned back towards our child. I moved closer to watch him as he lightly touched a curl on her head. “You’re smiling, Myra,” he whispered. Victor pulled his hand away from our daughter’s curls, moving away from the crib he pulled on his glove back on. I walked out of the room with Victor close on my heels.

        “It’s probably safe for you to go now, Victor.” I peeked out the window seeing the lack of flashing lights. He was leaning against my kitchen counter eating the muffin I had saved for tomorrow’s breakfast. 

       Of course, he didn’t even ask just took it. “I was thinking I’d stay tonight.” 

       I was worried he’d want to stay, “You know where to find the cot unless you prefer the couch.”  

       I started for my room knowing he’d say something, I didn’t want to do this dance tonight, but I knew he’d probably force it. “I was thinking the bed.”

      “Fine you take the bed, I’ll take the couch.”

       I sometimes forget how fast and silent Victor is, “I was thinking we’d share the bed.” I shook my head as he tried to pull me into him.

      “You need to get your thinking cap checked Victor.”

        He had managed to get me backed into the wall. I knocked down a framed picture, the glass was already long gone since the last time it got knocked down.

        “You were smiling, Myra.”

        An aggravated sigh escaped my throat, “I was smiling at a tender father-daughter moment, Victor. It was not an invitation.” he brushed that gloved hand against my chin, the soft leather causing me to shiver involuntarily. 

      “We have unfinished business between us, Myra.” I closed my eyes before saying the words that seemed to always sting both of us.

        “No, Victor, our business concluded when you offered to pay for an abortion.” I pushed him away, hoping my tears would not fall this time. 

        “I thought you had come to me for help, dimples.” Hearing his pet name for me pissed me off.

        “No. You don’t get to use that anymore. I didn’t go to you for help, I informed you about the pregnancy because that was the proper thing to do. I didn’t want a handout, asshole.” 

       Victor punched the wall in irritation. “I have already admitted I handled it poorly, Myra.” And now there is a hole in my wall.

      “You should go, Victor.” 

      Those eyes burning, as he stalked towards me, “No.” I knew before his lips hit mine I was going to lose. 

* * *

 

      The baby was crying, glancing at the clock groaning, I had to be up in three hours to get her to the sitters. Victor killing my neighbor and then staying over threw my whole sleep schedule off. Looking at the bed I realized he had thankfully left. I grab my nightgown from the floor where Victor had thrown it, pulling it over my head and adjusting it as I hurried to get my crying daughter.

      I stopped in the doorway a bit shocked at what I was seeing. “Shhh… It’s okay little Vera, daddy’s got you.” Victor was pacing quietly gently rocking our child in his arms trying to calm her down. He caught me staring at him. “She smells funny, Myra.”

     I walked over and took her from him, “She needs a clean diaper, Victor.”

    He made a face, “She shit herself. When does potting training begin?”  

    I shook my head as I placed Vera down on the changing table. “Not for a while, Victor. How about we focus on teaching her to walk.” 

    Victor watched me change her, “We?”

    “You are her father, I assume since you have made this much of an effort and given way more than you should monetarily. I assume you want to at least make an effort to be around her more.” Vera kept crying. I walked out of the room with the baby heading to the kitchen.

    “She won’t stop crying, Myra.”

     I ignored him as I pulled a teething toy out of the fridge. Vera started gnawing on it as soon as I put it in her hand. I secured her in her highchair, before turning my attention to making her cereal. I could feel him staring at me. “She’s teething, Victor.”  

    I felt him as he loomed behind me, “What is that?” Victor's arms encircling me, I needed him to move away. But I knew he would just hold on even tighter. I already caved last night, I just want him out of my system. Sighing, I answered every question he asked me. I sat down to feed our child when Victor spoke up again. “Can I feed her?”

    I blinked at him in surprise, “Okay, sure.” After showing Victor how much to put on the spoon and warning him that she likes to grab the spoon. He shooed me out of my kitchen. So I decided on a shower glad that Victor was occupied.

         When I came back to the kitchen and saw my child giggling at Victor. Then I realized he was telling her a story, “Then Daddy pulled out his guns and started shooting at the silly man.” Victor made gun noises and gently poked Vera in her belly making her giggle. “Daddy got him right there and there.” He pointed on her shoulder and was about to point out the other spot when I finally spoke up.

       “Please, tell me you are not telling her about the man you killed last night.” Vera grabbed one of Victor’s fingers and started gnawing on it.

       “Of course not, dimples. I’m telling her about the night of her conception.” I brought this on myself insisting that he be more hands on.

       “How about we wait until she asks about sex, Victor.”

       He shook his head, “No. She is going to stay my beautiful little girl, with sharp pointy little teeth, no sex when you grow up, Daddy will kill all those naughty boys. Yes, he will.” Victor made shooting and choking noises. Ugh, I think I liked it better when he was scared to pick her up. Vera giggled and gnawed happily on his finger. I tried not to smile when Victor finally glanced in my direction I saw baby cereal smeared on his face causing me to burst into giggles.


	2. Coffee Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myra gets a call from Detective Bullock to get coffee. Victor of course calls expecting to talk about things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me finally adding another chapter after a hundred years. found some muse for it.

   It had been a week since Victor had killed my neighbor. A week since he picked up our child and interacted with her. He hadn’t been back to see us, at least not where I can see him. Victor is like that, he could be somewhere far away watching us stroll through the park, through a sniper’s scope for all I know. I’m actually glad for the distance, I am hoping for another week or two of it but I won’t hold my breath. 

       I was meeting that detective from the other night, for coffee. When he called I was a bit surprised. I felt bad I hadn’t called Bullock but I am a single working mother, I have priorities, drinks with flirty bearded detectives are not high up on the list but coffee was doable and it was my day off. I had explained to him briefly about not having a sitter, waiting for the retraction of the invitation. Harvey had only hesitated briefly, before saying it was fine. Maybe, I should have declined. But I needed to interact with an adult, preferably not Victor. 

       Detective Bullock was seated at an outside table, Harvey stood when he saw me pushing the stroller. ‘Hey, thought you might cancel on me.” Funny, I was thinking he’d do that to me. “I picked the table with the most shade for your kid, we can go inside if you think that’s better.” 

        “It's a cool enough day, she'll be fine for the moment.” Saying this as if I hadn't agonized over every clothing choice and how much baby sunblock is enough.

        I had told Harvey my order ahead of time since he had limited time, backload of paperwork for solved cases that he let pile up. “I’ll go check on our order, should be ready now,” Harvey gave me a pleasant smile before going inside the coffee shop. I may have checked out his backside, I was imagining him in a nice pair of jeans when my phone buzzed. 

       “Where are you?” Sigh, of course, Victor calls when I am on a coffee date. Not even a ‘hello’ just straight into the conversation.

       “Out with our child enjoying the day, Victor.” 

       “When will you be home?” 

       “When I run out of diapers, why?” 

       Silence on the other end, possibly deciding if I am kidding about the diapers, “I bought some things for Vera and wanted to bring them by,” She has all she needs right now but I decided to keep that thought to myself.

      “I’ll be home in a few hours.” I spied Harvey walking back with our coffees, I didn’t want to be on the phone when he came back outside.

     “We should talk about some things,” The way he said it did not sit well with me, just his tone pissed me off.

     “Not sure what’s to talk about, you are making an effort to spend time with Vera, you already send support money.” Silence on his end as Harvey managed to get out the door without dropping the coffees. “Look I have to go, we can talk about it later.” 

     Harvey placed the coffees down, he sat down quietly not wanting to interrupt. Victor spoke again, “Okay, Dimples.”

     “You don’t get to call me that anymore,” He’d already ended the call, doubtful he even heard me. “Sorry.” Forcing a smile, everything is fine, I’m fine, I wanted to blurt it out.

     “Ex?” 

     “Vera's father, yes.” Though technically, Victor and I were never a couple, who wants to hear their date rant about that mess. “Just wanted to know when he could see her,” I closed my eyes and let out a soft sigh.

     A hand on mine caused me to remember I was on a date, “want to talk about it?” God no, my mind screamed.

     “No. Not really.” Talking about the hitman father of my child to the detective stuck with the murder investigation of my dead neighbor? Sounded like an immensely bad idea given the fact it was Victor that had committed the act. “I am just adjusting to him wanting to spend time with her, that's all.” Which was true, a year of no Victor was peaceful and now…

     Harvey hadn't removed his hand from mine and I didn't try to remove it either, “Sounds like you aren't happy about it.”

      “I guess I'm not. I did tell him to spend time with her.”

      “And now you are wishing you hadn't?”

      “I honestly thought he wouldn't bother.” And there lies the truth of it, I had really thought he'd piss off and not come back to bother us. Victor had sent money for her expenses, most of which I put into an account for her, I guess he decided money really wasn't enough. While I had no issues with him wanting to help monetarily, I really just wanted him gone and out of my system for good. “Well, enough about him. I'm curious to know more about you, detective.” 

       The pressure of his hand gradually decreased as he sat back sipping his coffee, “I'm boring.” He gave me a wink as Vera stirred in the stroller, “Someone's waking up.” 

       We spent the remainder of the time playing with Vera who seemed to enjoy tugging Harvey's beard anytime he brought his face within grabbing distance. Unfortunately, he had to get back to work and I needed to take my child home and deal with Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this leave a kudos, love it scream in the comments at me, Hate it? well, they can't all be great.


	3. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myra asserts herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter. they can't always be long chapters. it is just how my brain and energy goes at times.

      “No.” Victor’s head snapped in my direction when I said that word. 

      “No?” The frown on his face deepened as he turned away to gently place Vera in her crib. I honestly liked it better when he was occupied holding her. “What do you mean, ‘no’?” His voice a low growl as he followed me out of Vera's room.

       “I mean no as in Vera and I are not moving anywhere. We are fine where we are for the moment.” Reminding myself that I had a whole year of peace until a week ago.

       The minute I stepped into the apartment Victor was knocking on my door, he was barely in the door before he informed me he was moving me and our child to a new place. Like hell. I just handed Vera to him to hold while I put away her stroller. It had been quiet until I broke the silence by saying no to his plan.

       “It's not safe for her here, Myra.”

       “It is fine,” I felt his eyes burning into me as I restocked Vera's diaper bag, “The only not safe thing here is you, Victor. You brought death and violence with you,” I could have done without the sigh escaping me. “You bring it everywhere you go.”

         He was close behind me, “Not everywhere, Myra.” I felt his hand as he ran it over my hair. Don't let this happen again, yelling in my head to not let him have his way again.

         I spun around, “Yes, everywhere. You practically dropped it on my doorstep, Victor, by killing my neighbor.” 

         “I can't help who I am, sweetness.” He trailed his hand slowly until it came to rest on my shoulder. Bringing his other hand up to cup my face, “In hindsight, I realized I should have taken him out elsewhere.”

         “You think?” I needed to move away from him, I knew what he was trying to do, lips so close to mine. Eyes closed out of instinct, I felt his lips brush against mine, “No.”

          The word stopped him, my eyes popped open to see him tilt his head, “No?” Denying his whims twice in the same hour seemed to have thrown him off a bit but not enough for him to pull away completely. “I was thinking of staying over tonight.”

           Damn him. “Well you are not staying, in fact, you are leaving. Right now.” Victor leaned in and I tensed up, relaxing when he just kissed my cheek before pulling back from me completely.

           “I'll come by tomorrow to fix that,” He motioned in the direction of the hole he had made the other night. “I'll be staying tomorrow night.”

           “No. The super can take care of it. And no, you will not be staying over ever again Victor.” He just smirked as he left me standing there fuming at his arrogance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it hit that kudos. Love it? Scream at me in the comments. Hate it? Hell give it a kudos anyhow and move on.


	4. Internally Screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zsasz is Zsasz. And Myra is mentally screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> need to have a chapter with more Vera in it soonish. Since she is the anchor of this particular fic.

          I had to take Vera in for her check-up so I took off from work early to give myself enough time to pick her up and get to the pediatrician on time. So, of course, Victor calls when I am trying to get a new cabbie since the other jackass was nowhere to be seen, ”You're out of work early, Myra.” 

          “Vera has to see her doctor.”

          “Why? What's wrong?”

          “It's a routine check-up, Victor. Look I can't talk right now.” I needed to focus on getting a cab to stop for Vera and me. “Stupid cabbie.”

          “I'll take you there.”

          “It's fine. I prefer you didn't know where Vera’s sitter lives.”

          “Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “I just thought because three cabs have ignored you that you'd like a ride.”  _ Fucking asshole. _

          “Damn it, Victor.”

          “I bought a proper car seat.”

          I didn't have time to argue with him. “Fine.” Victor was probably the reason the cabbie took off on me. “But you aren't coming in with us.” A black sedan pulled up, sure enough, there was a brand new car seat in it.

 

* * *

 

         I broke the silence first, well Vera technically did by shaking her noisy toy, “I don't appreciate you following me, Victor.”

         “You told me to be more active in our child's life.”

         “Yes, by calling up and setting a time for visitation that doesn't conflict with our schedules.” 

         “I called.” Yeah, after conveniently chasing off my taxi, “Both of us are currently available for spending family time together.” The words cheerfully left his mouth.

         “Vera is our child but you and I are not family, Victor.”

         “We can fix that.” Please don't be proposing marriage I prayed he was joking. “Should have gotten a ring.” 

         I refrained from screaming at the fucking idiot, “Are you high?”

         “Dimples, you know I don't do drugs.”

         “Just shut up. I am done talking to you,” Un-fucking-believable! Why is he so damned determined to insert himself back into my life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this kind of fic, then leave a kudos. If you love it, leave a kudos and shout at me in the comments.  
> If you hate it, hell, leave me a kudos for trying, maybe a comment letting me know what could use improvement. (other than grammar because kids I am actively trying to sort out those things)


	5. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myra reluctantly spending 'family' time with Zsasz.

         Awkward. That was the word that summed up the experience of sitting in the waiting room. Victor sitting in a corner playing with the giant Lego blocks, while I glared at him, Vera was blissfully unaware her mother was contemplating making the man, who contributed to her conception, eat one of those damn blocks. Everyone else in the waiting room tried not to stare at us.

        “Ms.Childers,” A pleasant looking woman smiled at me when I made eye contact, “Dr.Marks is ready to see Vera.” I went to gather up Vera’s things when I saw Victor picking our child up, inwardly groaning because telling him no would just make me look like an asshole at this point. Forcing a smile as we walked past the nurse and through the door.

 

* * *

 

        “Someone is annoyed.” I didn't respond, I was sitting in the back with Vera letting her gnaw on my finger while I glared at the back of Victor’s stupid head. “You wanted me to be more hands on.” Yes, I did and now I am continually regretting it. “I don't know enough about the baby things. I had to ask questions.” 

        “It wasn't that you were asking questions, Victor.”

        “You seemed pretty upset about it though.”

        “You were interrogating the poor man.”

        “I need to make sure he is a good doctor for our child.”

        “Fucking Christ, Victor, I half expected you to tie him to the chair and torture him to get answers.”

        “Think I should do that?”

        “NO!” Vera made a few disgruntled noises at my outburst, just like her father about that word. I gave an involuntary shudder, please lord don’t let my child be like her father. “You don’t think I researched the man myself? I have lived in this city long enough to know you have to check into people, Victor.” Hell, I would have done the research anyhow, can’t have just anyone treating my baby.

        “I'll do my research ahead of the next appointment.”

        “You are not going to the next one.” I nearly screamed it. Vera started crying so my attention went to her the remainder of the car ride.

 

* * *

 

       “You're staring, Myra.” Victor had taken his jacket off, sleeves rolled up as he repaired the hole he'd put there. I had never been a fan of his tallies, it was jarring and disheartening to see they had grown in number. It was as if he'd read my mind, “A lot changes in a year, sweetness.”

        “Many things don't,” I huffed in annoyance, I fucking told him the super could fix the damn hole, “You aren't allowed to call me that, either.” 

        Victor gave a rueful chuckle, “True.”

        “Does it ever weigh on your soul?” I doubted it was going to go down a path I’d be comfortable with but at the same time, I had to ask.

        “What do you mean?” The monotone response was enough to make me want to forget I asked.

        “You know what I mean, Victor.” He was quiet as he looked over the work he'd done, it would need to be painted but the hole was gone.

        Victor glanced over at me, “Are you worried for my soul, Myra?” Victor kept that damn neutral look on his face, just as aggravating as the monotone. “Are you?” 

        “Go wash that stuff off your hands,” The last thing I needed was him ruining something else in the apartment. I checked on Vera, fast asleep with her tush up in the air, how do babies sleep like that? When Victor loomed up behind me trying to slip his arms around my waist, I pulled away immediately, “Don't.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you like, leave a kudos. If you love, scream at me in the comments. If you hate, wander off to a different fic then I guess.


	6. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A call from Harvey and Zsasz spends the night despite Myra's protesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, got inspired to work on this one again. Yay for being inspired. I have part of another chapter written so fingers crossed I get that written before my brain flitters off to another thing.

 

         Victor got a call, which was a relief because I had desperately wanted him to leave, ‘family’ day had drained me. We are really going to need to set some boundaries. I dragged myself to the shower after checking on Vera, the hot water felt wonderful as it helped wash away the tensions of the day.

         I pondered the question Victor had asked, am I worried for his soul not really because ultimately it will be on him to face his maker and reconcile his evils. No, my concern is for Vera and how the sins of her father will affect her later in life.

          I was brushing my teeth when my phone went off, I almost ignore it thinking it was probably Victor. I answered it anyhow because he would just show up if I didn't answer, and I didn't want that.

         “Hey, hope I'm not calling too late,” The voice of Harvey Bullock in my ear was cause for a smile.

         “Hi. No,” Lying like I wasn't getting my ass ready for bed. 

         “I was worried it might be, I hear babies run on different sleep schedules.”

          A chuckle escaped my throat, “Yeah, they do until you figure out their sleep patterns.”

         “Meant to call you earlier but I got caught up in a lead on a case and well time got away from me.” I hoped it wasn’t the case of my dead neighbor, 

         “Oh? What about Detective?” I caught myself using a flirtatious tone.

         “Harvey.” He returned with an equally flirty voice.

         “Okay, what did you want to call me about, Harvey?” 

         “Friday. Do you have plans?” 

         Oh. Another date so soon? “Should  I  have plans?” Oh  _ god, _ my flirting is atrocious, a thing I never excelled at…

 

* * *

 

 

         I suppose it was too much to hope Victor would not return but of course, he did, “My apartment is not a place for you to crash at, Victor.” I stood there with my arms crossed with my angriest glare, it had no effect on the man.

        “I thought you’d be asleep, sweetness.” Victor slipped his boots off, placing them at the foot of my bed.

        “I was asleep until some jackass tried to break into my apartment.”

         Victor shook his head, “You aren’t a light sleeper, Myra. You waited up for me.”

         “No, I was not.” Harvey and I had been on the phone for what seemed like hours discussing our date for Friday. I’d barely got under the covers before I heard Victor fiddling with the locks on my door. Thankfully the chain had slowed him down, I suppose I could have just told him to piss off and relock the door. He gave me that familiar look and I started shaking my head, I motioned for him to leave the room, “Take the couch.”

        “We both know that I’m not sleeping there.” Damn it, I am not doing this again with him. I made for the door he could have the bed but not me. “Don’t be that way, Myra.” 

        "Like what, Victor?" I shouldn't have paused to respond because it gave him the chance to grab my hand, "Let go." _Just let me go, I don't want this anymore._

        "No. We have unfinished business between us." Not that nonsense again. I had an urge to gnaw my arm off to escape him. "Come to bed, it's late."

         "I'm fine with the couch," I tried to pull free but he kept his hold on my hand. 

         "That couch is garbage, come to bed. No sex. Just sleeping."

         Like a fool, I let him coax me into my own bed, snuggled under the covers wishing Victor would just let me live my life without him. I tried not to cry in frustration as he lightly dozed with me trapped in his arms. Damn him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like, Love, or Hate, consider leaving a kudos, a comment, or both. Thank you.


	7. Thickheaded Jackass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor woke up in a frisky mood and Myra was not having it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was pretty damn tempting to let Myra cave because it is Zsasz. but She said no. So we have this scene instead.

        It shouldn't have surprised me that Victor would be frisky first thing in the morning, "You said no sex." The irritation was strong in my tone yet he seemed unfazed by it as he nipped gently at the back of my neck.

        "That was for last night besides you used to love being woken up this way, dimples." He pressed up against me to let me know how happy his body was to have me there. What I hated most is that my body was enjoying the attention.  _ Judas. _

        "Used to are the operative words. And I told you that that pet name is done."

        "Not in the mood then?" _Is he really this obtuse?_

        "Victor, I **won't** keep doing this with you. I am trying to move on with my life, you have to let me go."

        "You want me to be more a part of this family but you keep pushing me away. Make up your mind Myra.” Victor sighed into the back of my neck at least he stopped kissing it.

        " I said to be a part of your daughter's life, not mine."

        "It's the same thing, sweetness."

        "No. My life is separate from Vera's," Why is he making this difficult? "Right now her life includes me because I am the one doing all the parenting things and now it includes you because you are being more present in her life."

        "I don't see the difference." Maybe I am not explaining it right.

        "Let me put it another way. Be her dad, yes. Be my man, no."

        Victor was quiet for a moment, it gave me hope that he was getting a clue. "No." What the hell does he mean 'no'?!

        "Yeah, that's not up to you."

        "No." He resumed nuzzling into my neck, aw hell no.

       I gave him a sharp elbow to the gut forcing him to pull back enough for me to escape my own bed."You don't get it I am not yours. You don't get to come back into my life if I don't want you in it."

       It didn't take him long to hop out of bed and come after me, "I never left your life, Myra."

       "No. I left yours."

       "Because of my words?"

       "Because of everything." Once again I’ve let myself be backed against a wall by him. 

       "Let me back in, sweetness." He leaned in, I knew what he was trying, banking on the chemistry we had once. 

       Old feelings be damned, he was not getting his damn way like the other night. Those lips so dangerously close when I blurted out my next words, "I'm seeing someone."

       That made him jerk back, brow furrowed, "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like, Love, or Hate some feedback in the form of kudos or comments are welcome


	8. Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myra tries to get Victor to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, have some fucking angst, sorry.

       Thankfully Vera's cry from the other room saved me at that moment I fled the room without making eye contact with Victor. I could feel his eyes on me as I focused on our child, it was nerve-wracking. I wasn't ready for the coming conversation, interrogation more likely…

      "Since when?" He kept his voice low to not startle Vera, "You didn't mention anyone when we were having sex the other night." 

      "I wasn't seeing anyone then."

      "But you are now?"

      "Yes." I spotted a patch of irritated skin on Vera's rear as I was wiping it clean, "I don't know if it will go anywhere but I like him."

       Victor paid attention as I applied ointment to the reddened area, "Does she need to go to the doctor for that?" 

       "It should be fine, I'm just putting the ointment on as a preventative measure," I had put her to bed in a clean diaper so she must have pooped shortly after, "She gets them periodically. I'll let her have some naked time after her bath today." 

        "Naked time?" I could hear the amusement in his tone then he remembered he was angry, "Will he get naked time?"

        I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't really know, only just started seeing him."

        "No." I didn't like his tone.

         "It's not up to you, Victor." I handed Vera over to him, which forced him to smile and give her attention. "Set her up in her chair, please."

         I hid in the bathroom, splashed water on my face and just took a few moments to internally scream. I mean I would have had to tell him eventually, I can't date someone else and then let myself be persuaded into falling into bed with Victor, repeatedly. I don't even know where things will go with Harvey, I'm still learning about him. Eventually, I'd have to be more open with Harvey if it does turn into more, right?

          Focus. I left the bathroom to see Victor in the kitchen making Vera’s cereal, “Should I put all of the bananas or just half the jar?”

          “She doesn’t like the bananas, use the apple sauce instead. Half the jar, otherwise most of it gets wasted.”

          “Not like bananas? You sure she’s my kid?” 

         "Yes, you barely gave me breathing room, like I could have even had time for another guy back then." Plus, Victor was the jealous type. 

         Victor looked back at me briefly, "Is that the problem? You think I am suffocating you?"

          "In a sense, yes."

          "I can give you space, sweetness." Yeah right. The doubt must have been plastered on my face. "You don't believe me?"

          "Thus far you have ignored my efforts to put distance between us. So no I don't believe you." He picked up the bowl with our child's food stirring it as he walked to her chair. Vera was busy gnawing on her fist she seemed less fussy this morning, "Can you check if her tooth came in?"

          Victor held the bowl out of Vera's reach as he let her grab his finger knowing she'd immediately gnaw on it. "Feels like it might be two." He chuckled at the happy gurgling noises our child made as she continued gnawing on his finger. "Go get ready for work Myra. We can finish our discussion after breakfast."

 

* * *

          Quiet. The calm before the storm, I mean I had already said all I needed to say. It was more or less just Victor not accepting I want to move on. I sat sipping coffee as he dug into his smiley face pancakes. We'd dropped Vera at her sitter so I didn't have our baby to distract him with… 

          His eyes met mine and I had to look away, hard to stand my ground when those damn dark pools he calls eyes to suck me into them. Those eyes and other body parts are what got me into this mess with him, no condoms and a defective pill also played a part as well. "I can't believe you still get the kid's meal pancakes." 

         "I can't believe you started dating someone when we are trying to work things out." 

         "There's nothing to work out."

         "We have unfinished business between us."

         "We do not. The only thing we share is our child, Victor." He plopped money on the table and stood up. I realized he was waiting for me to get up as well. "I could have paid for my own breakfast."

         "You know I won't let you pay for meals." He took my hand and expected me to follow.

         "Let go." I tried to pull my hand from his but he only gripped it more firmly and led me out of the diner.

* * *

 

 

         "You have to give me a fighting chance, Myra." We were parked outside, I was hoping none of my coworkers noticed me in the car.

         "Why?" I just blinked at him. "Have I  **not** expressed enough how much I  **don't** want what you want?"

         "Yes, you have,"  _ then respect what I want, _ I wanted to holler at him. "I don't think you mean it." 

          "What?" As in what the fuck is going on in his mind. "It doesn't matter what you think in this instance, Victor. You need to let me go."

          "No." He leaned over bringing up a hand to cup my face.

          "You need to stop this, I don't want to be with you." I opened the car door as his hand dropped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill, leave a kudos if you like it. Scream in the comments if you loved or even if you hated it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this give it a kudos. If you love it leave a comment telling me how much. If you hate it let me know politely what i can do to improve.


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